The customer is king – the Nigerian parody.

The most vital department or unit of any successful business establishment I believe is the customer relations unit. This unit is there to ensure that the customer is always satisfied and continues to patronize the business. Therefore, to businesses that realize that the consumers are the reason for their being, the saying ‘the customer is king’ is not to be trifled with at all, except in Nigeria.

The population of Nigeria alone translates to economic Eldorado to astute business people. Also and unfortunately, the culture of impunity and anything goes syndrome coupled with the absence of checks and balances on the part of Government creates a breeding ground for all sorts of economic atrocities to go on. The service/goods provider is therefore free to pursue profit at any cost thereby exposing the average Nigerian to all manners of assault on a regular basis in the course of paying for goods/services.

Who do I blame? The normal Nigerian will blame the government. I mean, almost every Nigerian is suffering badgovernmentisalism. This is the disease afflicting the average Nigerian. You pay for goods and services and you are treated like shit on top of all the money you paid for the service or good and it is the fault of the government.

It is amazing what Nigerians accept. Goods and service providers are constantly taking undue advantage of their customers and yet the customers continue to patronize them. To me, it appears Nigerians have been totally emasculated, devoid of the ability to make choices and resigned to constant abuse, rape and all sorts of indignities. It appears the average consumer in Nigeria is a zombie past caring about the treatment meted out by service providers’ et al.

To worsen the situation, the enforcement body in charge of ensuring customer satisfaction does not seem to know the difference between a consumer/customer and a service provider/business. I say this because it appears that in the dictionary of Consumer Protection Council (CPC) which is the body I refer to, the service providers/businesses are the consumers to be protected as they (CPC) stand by and watch customers’ rights being trampled upon and abused with poor service delivery.

My greatest confusion however is not that the CPC is not functioning, this is the norm as far as Nigeria is concerned (let me quickly chirp in here that the wind of positive change is blowing over Nigeria and very soon it will no longer be business as usual) but that the average Nigerian consumer continues to accept such undignified treatment over and over and over ad infinitum again. It is saddening. Maybe the average consumer in Nigeria sees him/herself a beggar, lending weight to the saying that a “beggar has no choice”. Because I am surprised not to see people rebelling such treatment en mass. I am not talking about the occasional protest, but I am talking about people just out rightly saying no to indignity and poor service delivery by boycotting a particular product or business.

It is unfortunate that we the people remain unaware of the power we possess, that we are the reason for the continuing existence of any product or business. That if we decide not to consume a particular product or service that business will fold up. And we allow ourselves to be treated shabbily, cheated out rightly and worse, we still pay to be treated that way.

How many so called customer care line are truly functional? It’s so annoying, it hurts. If the government does fail to protect us the consumer is there nothing we can do about it? I don’t want to believe that Nigeria is populated by people who are defeated, hopeless, helpless, hapless, lifeless, powerless, incapacitated and all other such adjectives, I don’t.

We have the POWER, let’s use it. Let’s say no to poor service delivery by boycotting erring goods/service providers en mass. We are the ones in position to hold them to ransom and not the other way round. Let us be united against such shabby and unprofessional treatment. Let’s not forget that if we choose to ignore it when someone else is maltreated today, it could be us next time around, therefore to ensure that all service providers/businesses at all levels are professional and customer satisfaction oriented in their service delivery, we should as one let them know that they are, because we are.

And thank God for the platform afforded us by internet i.e. the social networks. Do not hesitate to cry foul if exposed to poor service delivery. Put your smart phone to good use if you can, record the scene, do so. Mention the day, date and time and try and get the name of the particular people involved. Feel free to name the business without fear. I am calling out to those who have genuine claims to not keep quiet about it. As many as are bold enough to speak out should be encouraged, we all should lend our voice to theirs. We all have a right to enjoy excellent service delivery therefore a slight to one should be taken as a slight to all.

I am looking forward to the day that we all will refuse to travel due to the excesses of e.g. NURTW (*WINK*)

Remember, they are because we are…

National honors – the Nigerian version

National honors – the Nigerian version

14^th November, 2011, 355 Nigerians were decorated with national honors by the President, himself a GCFR. There have been many that have taken issues with the way and manner and the caliber of people that the award committee chooses for such awards. Some have been known to refuse such honor in light of the many ills still besetting our country.

I want to lend my voice to those who fault the National Awards process as well as the choice of awardees. I want to stand with those who have vehemently declined to accept the awards. Nigeria is a nation that is still held by the jugular by a cabal and they continue to try to portray that all is well.

Thank God for technological advancements so far and for the numerous Reality TV shows that abound. I would have expected the Award committee to take advantage of technology by publishing the names of the nominees and asking Nigerians to vote via SMS, let me leave the result to your imagination. Let me quickly say though, that this is Nigeria oh and anything is possible, who knows the extent to which some people will go just to become an OON. I mean, it is not impossible for someone to pay people to vote for him or her.

That’s by the way o jare, let me ask the award committee a few questions.

1.     Did you care to publish the criteria used for nominations?

2.     Did you care to ask for suggestions from Nigerians?

Let me stop there.

Now to Jonathan, you claim that the award is not given as a result of the position that the awardees hold or held then please explain how IGP Hafiz Ringim came to be on the list. Is it because he is the current Inspector General of Police? If you say the awards are based on a person’s contribution to the nation, can you kindly highlight some of those achievements? Let me supply you a few that readily comes to mind, is the fact that the Force Headquarters of the Police was bombed and Ringim survived the attack that was counted for him as an achievement? Or is that till now, we still do not see an end to the issue of insecurity in Nigeria therefore we reward cluelessness. What high profile case did he solve? Has he unearthed the killers of Bola Ige and co?

To the case of the former Governor of my state Ondo, who stole the mandate of the people and was duly booted out of the office by the court. How did he merit such an award? Oh, I forget. I am guessing his contributions when he was a Deputy Governor and as a Federal minister merited him the honor. Maybe I’m missing something; he may have contributed to the academic field right? Help me out please.

Is it the tears shed on Benin – Ore - Lagos express road by former Minster of Works, road and transport now Minster of Petroleum resources, the longest serving minister so far having served starting from the Time of Obasanjo till date in the person of Mrs. Diezani Alison-Madueke. Is it that she has served for soooooo long that she is being awarded or that she contributed her tears to the blood that have wet the Benin – Ore –Lagos road due to the many accidents and robberies on that stretch of road due to government neglect that she is being awarded. Or is it that our refineries are now fully operational, or the impending oil subsidy removal dangling on our heads?

I can go on, but suffice me to say, the process of nominating people for the National Honors is hugely skewed. A lot of the people being given these awards are not positive role models and such do not deserve such honor. Some of the awardees may be deserving of such honor but I regret to say that the entire process has become laughable among well meaning Nigerians.

In fact, as a general studies question, ask anybody on the street if they know what any of the awardees have done and how the person has affected his or her life, I won’t be surprised if the person you mentioned is not known to them.

I stand with the Late Gani Senior Advocate of the Masses, Prof. Chinua Achebe and Honorable Gbajabiamila. I lend my voice to what they stand for. I lend my voice to a better Nigeria. We should be careful the kind of legacies we leave behind. We should be mindful of how the future will remember us. We should fear God. We are not deceived. We are not blind to your antics. We are not influenced by your gimmicks. There still remains a breed without greed in this nation and we are gathering momentum. It’s a matter of time, and that time is upon us. The time is now…