Gal power!

Talking about gal power and women empowerment issues, I believe that ALL women, ladies and gals should be involved in this struggle (it has become a struggle). There’s a need for ALL of the female folk to pitch in their bit to help change the society’s view of women.

It is very difficult for men to see beyond the cleavages of women most times because that is all they see most of the time. It is said of the American female superstars that when they are getting to the end of their careers they decide to re-launch themselves by promoting their sensuality. In the entertainment industry especially the music industry, the guys do the singing or rapping or whatever and the gals do the dirty dancing and it doesn’t matter the age of the guy. What do you want people to think? The fashion mags are not left out when all most of them do is promote sensuality as opposed to feminineness and sex appeal as opposed to brain power.

As for me, I feel sad when I see this debased portrayal of womanhood when I know that is not how it should be. I wonder if all this women that do this erotic dance for all this musical videos are actually forced into or coerced into doing it. Like I said, it is difficult for me to accept that a semi dressed lady is more than that because the impression that comes to mind is SEX that’s all. I don’t know if I am coming across clearly but I just wanted to put all this down before I lose steam.

I believe in gal power in fact I believe that women have so much power if only they knew and I respect women a lot especially those worthy of respect and we have quite a lot of them to mention a few Oby Ezekwesili, Okonjo Iweala, Hillary Clinton, Condoleza Rice, Ellen Johnson Siarleaf, Michelle Obama and a host of others. These are clear examples of actual gal power which shows that such levels can be attained for women it just depends on how they place themselves. I strongly believe no one can make you do what you don’t really want to do or call you a name that is not yours except you allow the person. These women I just mentioned and others I haven’t mentioned got to where they are today by working hard and exhibiting feminineness and not sensuality(it will be rare for any of these above mentioned women to enter pages where they will be rated on their sensuality or sex appeal) on their fashion sense, yes but definitely not on sensuality. It will be difficult to imagine a vice president of the World Bank as having sexual appeal or even the female president of a Nation. I mean only her husband can see her that way and she does not come out screaming I am a sex symbol in everything she does.

I believe that if all women concentrate on promoting all other qualities they posses (which is quite numerous) rather than their sensuality alone, they will definitely have all the respect they deserve. Let female authors arise that will write the autobiography of the women I mentioned above and others like them, go to them; ask questions about their life and how they coped and all that. Encourage others to follow their footsteps.

Women will be taken more seriously if they understand their role fully and present a united front against such misrepresentation of womanhood.

I am a guy, I love women and above all, I respect them and believe in gal power.

   

I am scattered….

How? Well, I know I wrote “I am single…” so am I about to contradict myself now? No, far from it, I just want to voice out for those of us who find it very difficult to be single. Now let me pause here and direct you to my blog link where you need to first read the blog post titled “I am single….” Without which this particular blog will not make so much sense to you o.k.? Good.

Some of us are born with ease, now I don’t mean our mums had it easy birthing us but rather that we came with ease as a companion. As interesting as this, sounds, it is the undoing of most of us in this category. Oh yes! We learn with ease, we acquire skills with ease, we breeze through most situations without effort then the quicksand, people hail us, flatter us and then we become so full of ourselves. We can do anything and we don’t need to practice much because it comes to us naturally. Sports, business name it. And here is the result, we are not able to focus, we are free spirited and very mobile, moving to the next interesting thing. We become Jack of all trade and master of none because being disciplined is a struggle since we pick things easily.

You may by now be wondering who we are, we are the multi talented, the scattered. A quick glance at my profile please and you will get an idea of what I am trying to explain. We can be so many things so much so that people find it difficult to place us. Even we cannot place ourselves sometimes. It took me this long to be able to articulate my profile, a candid description of me and my abilities and there is more but let me stop here for now.

Everyone seeks relevance and like I said in “I am single…” people have the capacity to remember you for one thing only therefore the struggle that most multi talented people have is, which is the way for me? Let me come out of my mind to get you a clearer picture…

This is me, I love singing, I see someone else who is a great singer and I wish I was that person and check it out, I can sing too and very well. The next minute, I see an actor display and I am equally moved to want to be like him and I have what it takes to be like him. Then I read a book and oh what a book and I want to be an author and I have what it takes as well. I mean, my case is not like those that just know they are not cut out for some things and therefore do not bother to venture, for me I can and I know I can, feel me? So, I have the ability to do so many things but wonder which way do I go? What will announce me to the world and keep me in their minds forever? Which of the many abilities and skills will I be renowned for? Folks, this struggle can be very heart rending and we are tended easily towards bouts of depression.

Are you following me so far? I am scattered. I can do so many things and be so many things and that is my problem or is it? Is it a bad thing to be like this? No! It is NOT… I feel strongly for this category of people because I am one with them and I know how it can feel sometimes and here is my word of advice to you.

God is a very purposeful Being and our individual uniqueness contributes to the overall beauty and wonder that is the world. It don’t matter if you are multi skilled or single skilled, the charge is to work with what you have for the benefit of mankind. You don’t have to be Bill Gates to make a difference. Fame does not always translate to positive impact that is why there are those called unsung heroes. They are still heroes, it doesn’t matter the word that is used to qualify the hero either sung or unsung, the constant there is hero. They are not known but their deeds and contributions to mankind reverberate through history and beyond. Check the dictionary for the meaning of hero again then look into the mirror and you will see the hero is you. I thoroughly enjoyed Evan Almighty the movie, Acts of Random Kindness (ARK), whatever your skills or talents level, build an ARK. Don’t bury your talents like the servant who did (Matthew 25:14-30). Do something with what you have at every opportunity that presents itself. I sing, I act, I speak, I blog, I do all the things I can do and I put my heart in it. That is what you should do too. Run away from depressive thoughts; express yourself to the fullest as God is your limit.

Pro 11:24  There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; and there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty. e-Sword KJV.

I am scattered, to be a blessing multiple times over and I am loving every moment of it… let’s do this…

Terrorists in our midst-strictly Naija.

I am beginning to question the rationale behind this incessant call for dialogue with terrorist.  How will any reasonable person think that you can reason with unreasonable people??? Have any of these negotiators gone through the timeline of the bombings and killings so far??? Has any of them totaled the number of lives that these unreasonable faceless cowards killed so far and the number of innocent families affected so far??? Do they think that this will be their reaction if they were directly affected that is if they lost a limb or a member of their family to the unjust violence???

These people have conscientiously and deliberately targeted human beings and you say they have a point and therefore the Federal Government should invite their leaders to the round table. Killers??? Round table?

MEND in driving home their point (employed tactics that still respected the sanctity of the Human life) kidnapped but released their victims. They blew up oil facilities that, yes set us back but it could still be repaired but these terrorist under a most unreasonable and insane idea are causing irreparable damage to families, taking lives that they can’t bring back, and yet some people including a former Inspector General of Police in Nigeria are asking us to wipe our tears, bear our pains, bury our dead and negotiate with them. Note carefully that unlike the media and others I have deliberately chosen not to deign the terrorist group with any form of dignity and recognition by calling them by the name that espouses their stupid ideology. I am into development work and we have a practice of not discarding any idea no matter how foolish, but I daresay that their idea of anti western education is the most foolish of all ideas that any one will concoct.

The guns and ammunition they use in fighting their unfounded cause dropped from heaven? If they have issues with western education what stops them from carving out their own colony and remove themselves from civilization??? Why don’t they go back to the era before western education came by their lifestyle and shun any trappings of westernization??? After all, we have nudist colonies in certain countries and they don’t go around burning those that choose to wear clothes. We have people using creative means to fight for or promote a cause, why must our desire to seek attention be violence based in Nigeria (I never supported MEND’s methods too but MEND and these faceless cowards are miles apart in the question of sanity. MEND is just the lesser of two evils to me.)???

 To the murderers and their supporters, is anybody forcing western education down your throats??? To those like Okiro that are calling for negotiations, what is the basis for negotiation??? What is the rationale??? Ok, let’s say we are now at the negotiating table so they say no more western education and the FG says ok, put down your arms we will abolish all schools, I am confused can any of you negotiators explain what this negotiation will look like??? As in, do you negotiate with criminals??? A couple of attention seeking cowards come together, start fomenting trouble, killing people and some people desire negotiation…. That is absurd and insane to say the least. Who do you want to negotiate with in the first place when nobody has chosen to come out in the open to say he is part of the cowards???

Let all media henceforth desist from giving them undue and undeserved attention.

Let all us from now henceforth adopt a practice and regime of strict vigilance. Let us not take anything for granted.

Let us work to heighten the level of our security consciousness. We must not take the law into our hands but instead let us report any suspicious looking person and package to nearest authorities.

These people are nothing else but cold blooded murderers that have no qualms whatsoever in taking human life and their cause is not just. I fail to see how they have been wronged and therefore see no basis for any form of negotiation with them. We have a constitution and we have laws. Aspects of these laws cover our response to such acts as a nation, therefore let us call a spade a spade and not a shovel and take necessary actions and sanctions against these cowards.

Take heed all of you who are calling for negotiation with criminals, please from henceforth if you have nothing good to say, keep quiet. You are inadvertently heating up the polity and encouraging all sorts by such statement. Some other unwise persons may rise up tomorrow to unleash mayhem on the innocent emboldened by your views. Nigeria does not need such now or ever please…

Finally, my advice to you faceless cowards is, stop the shedding of innocent blood, shun violence, remove your veil and come out from hiding. If you feel you have a just cause, come out and use creative means to push your cause. If you fail to heed my advice, there shall be no hiding place for you anywhere in the world. No hole will be big enough to contain you. You shall be fully exposed and the law will deal with you appropriately. Heed my words…

I am single……

In your dreams, me single? No way and let me bust it already, or should i??? Pardon my attempt at suspense and follow me through.

The issue is there is a saying that goes, Jack of all trades, master of none and many other sayings that espouse the principle of focus. I mean chasing two rats at once is crazy except you are chasing them through a narrow tube that is closed at the other end.

Every man has an inner craving to be relevant; it’s in all of us. A desire to be recognized, to be noticed you can add famous and so on. The issue now is what is the platform for recognition??? I have dreams, not just me. We hear stories of and witness people who are making impact in life and we want to be like them. Remember that success has many relatives, friends and well wishers. Everyone identifies with success and desires to be successful.

Now, having established the innate desire for relevance, it now boils down to what to do to attain this relevance. That will be the focus of today’s blog. Ooooooops! Thought I was going to talk about relationship, as in the single that mingles in a bid to double? Naaaaaaaa.

I am quickly discovering that all successful people are single, yes single. O.k., let me start Eddie Murphy, single, Jamie Foxx, single, Genevive Nnaji, single, Pastor Adeboye, single, John Maxwell, single, Ali Baba, single, Donald Trump, single, Tiger Woods, single, Usain Bolt, single, Didier Drogba, single, Chinua Achebe, single, the list is endless and all of them are SINGLE!!!!

By single, I mean, when your hear their names mentioned only one thing comes to your mind, what they do, for instance Tiger Woods is known for singing true or false? Jamie Foxx is an actor, true or false? Eddie Murphy is a musician, true or false? Especially Jamie Foxx and Eddie Murphy, most people I know will never believe that Eddie Murphy then used to be a singer too and I have seen Jamie Foxx’s song on Channel O and it doesn’t just click with me that he is a singer in the mold of say, 50 Cents. 50 Cents has appeared in a few movies but you still get to describe him as a rap artiste. Forget about all the possible diversifications, only one thing sticks to our minds about people and that is whatever it is that got them fame in the first place. It doesn’t matter how many areas one develops expertise, people will only remember you for one thing.

Here is the kernel of my gist so far, find that one thing and do it. The process may be short, long, difficult, easy, anyhow. But you can only make the impact you desire to make by discovering that single thing that will launch you out. Jesus didn’t make his fame as a carpenter, or healer, or teacher, or because He is the son of God, all this wouldn’t have mattered if He didn’t die and rise again. That was and is the only thing that matters because that is the single thing that had far reaching and most lasting effect on mankind. People will still feel the effect till tomorrow and for as long as the world remains and I am almost sure that we will sing about it when we get to Heaven.

As you look to manuals to get a hang of your newly purchased device, so you have to look to God to discover that which will bring you forth and which people will most remember you by. He is our maker and He has a purpose for creating every being. Fulfillment only comes with discovering that single but impactful purpose for your life and doing it. Pouring yourself into it whole heartedly because by doing so, you obey Him, you find joy and you add to others meaningfully.

The path to the singleness I am talking about today may not be easy for all, but the gains far exceed the pains. The road to self discovery is the only way I know that doesn’t always makes sense from the beginning and through the course of the journey but at the end; all things are clear and peace reigns. One thing that will make a lot of sense is to be guided all the way and God will gladly be your guide if you let Him.

Today, it’s I am single. Watch out for “I am scattered” next blog…..

Should I die, today…

How often do you think about death or dying? When you do, what do you think about? When I talk of thinking about death, I mean just plain pondering the thought that someday, you will die. Considering that dying is not restricted to old age, I mean now we have what we term ‘life expectancy’ and this varies from Nation to Nation. Are you prepared to die? Or sorry, are you prepared for death? Should one even think about it? Here I am mentioning it so much that I feel you may begin to think that this is a horror article. Relax, it is not.

I occasionally mull over this issue of death and here are my thoughts; what is going to happen to those that are close to me when I die? What are people going to say about me? How many people are going to miss me? Why will they miss me? How will I be remembered? For how long will memories of me last in the minds of people that know me? Note that I don’t bother myself about when death will come neither am I afraid of it; my only concern is what legacy will I leave behind? If the world continues for many years after I have left, will my life affect generations that will come after me? What am I doing now that will last till the world remains? Or most importantly, have I lived my life to please Him who sent me?

This and more such questions run through my mind from time to time. What about you? Are you afraid of death? Or you are one of those who desire to postpone dying or even attain immortality? The only way you can attain immortality is through Christ’s atoning death. Man must die and that is certain and those who won’t experience the physical death will be transformed – read 1^st Thessalonians 4: 17.

Our duration in this world is limited and therefore we must think about death and related issues i.e. Life. I have Life, hence my confident handling of this issue but my main focus in this piece is; how are we prepared for death knowing that we all are not going to die at once at least not yet but we are likely to leave people behind, e.g., spouse, children, parents, relatives, friends the list goes on – I hope I am not hearing that God forbid? – the reality that death can come knocking at any time T and occasion O where T and O are undefined should be frequently considered after all death is not a punishment especially for those who embrace Grace and I say like Paul the Apostle in Phi 1:21  For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. e-Sword KJV.

One way to prepare for this eventuality called death is for all, especially African men to write their will. Failure to do so complicates matters for those left behind. You make it very difficult for your life’s work to be transferred to those who deserve it. Remember that we are yet to totally do away with some of our barbarous traditions and practices that disinherit our loved ones after our demise and the law permits the Government to allocate a percentage of such unwilled wealth to herself. Okay, forget that I used the word remember to start the last sentence, let me not assume that you already know therefore note now and commit the earlier sentence to memory. Our death should not cause heart ache for those that will be left behind. It shouldn’t be reason for any kind of conflict, strife or even war. As we are making plans for the future, let’s never forget that DEATH is a real and tangible part of that future because the last I remember, no one knows tomorrow and only God is privy to that. Those who know God stand a chance to know too because He sometimes chooses to share some things with us.

If you wish to do away with your fear of death, get to know God through Christ. He loves you more than you’ll ever know. And please, make sure you write your will soon, please. You don’t have to wait till you own the world. Poor people die too and their death causes untold hardship for the left behind as even the little they left behind does not get to their beneficiaries, very baaaaaaad.  My fellow African men please don’t let the superstitiousness of the African mindset hinder you from doing the right thing. Write your will today; better still make all future investments in the name of your spouse and children. This helps too.

Einstein, Shakespeare, Martin Luther Jnr., Plato, Homer, Michel Angelo, Mozart Ghandi and a lot more, I never had the opportunity to meet one on one but I will certainly feel them till tomorrow. What about you??? 

I believe I have briefly discussed one main issue with two points here and that is death is a constant this side of eternity so, live your life in such a way that people will have fond memories of you and be impacted by your legacy. Also, leave your loved ones in peace after you are gone by writing a will now before your time comes.

Ooops, lest I forget, seek to know God and a lot will be settled by that. A relationship with our Maker is gem, life, peace, joy, name it… in Him, we can live forever together in eternity. Oh, death where is thy sting… 1^st Corinthians 15:55.

who do i marry??? 2

It is June, the beginning of the end of the 1^st half of 2011 and I am sure a time of serious stock taking for many, myself inclusive.

I discovered that my write-up titled “who do I marry???” enjoys the highest viewage among my 19 blogs up to date. It alone has drawn over 60 people to my blog site and I am ticklishly happy. Ticklish for obvious reasons, marriage is still very much a hot topic and happy because it is drawing traffic to my blog site. Isn’t that just pat???

Disappointing though is the fact that the blog only had 2 comments, awwwwww PLEASE!!! Drop comments now. It helps to know if one needs to make any adjustments, you know now.

That be that, I seriously wonder why we quickly label some aspects of our being “Old School” and this is a common thing among the newer generation – to think that one day my children may refer to my ideas as old school. So tell me. What is new under the sun??? Or like the Yorubas will put it, “ki l’oju o ri ri?” that is what has the eyes not seen before?  Or the other powerful saying of the Yorubas that I love which goes “a ri iru eleyi ri, a fi n da eru ba oloro” which translates literarily that saying we have not seen this before is only to scare the affected person which means, there is nothing new under the sun. There is an English saying that aligns with all these and it goes, we cannot keep reinventing the wheel. We can make it last longer, look finer, stronger but to try to reinvent the wheel is obviously a stupid venture.

Why am I stressing this nothing new under the sun message??? I know how my mum met my dad and indeed how most of my friends parents, met each other. Things were not this complicated then. Recommendation and referrals was the in thing. People trusted the judgment of family and friends in the choice of a future spouse as in all that was needed was a good word from a friend and the relationship starts and blossoms. Maybe there was more room for trust then than now.

I must say that the fact that distractions abound now is why things are getting rather complicated. The advent of much advancement especially the media (entertainment) has colored the eyes of many. A lot more people are not founded on any particular principle so they get blown here and there by any and every fad. This equally affects the ability to make a decision on who to marry. When you don’t have a mind of your own, you will never be able to make any concrete decision. Check out the rate of divorce these days, compare it what it was like then discounting the increase in population.

In all this present confusion, you can find your spouse and enjoy a blissful married life. I can gladly say that I have enjoyed every bit of my marriage to my wife and mother of my children. I have God to thank for making very wonderful people abound for me – I can’t begin to mention names – and beautiful resources that help renew my mind and most especially the Bible, the word of God.

In this vast decaying world with all its confused and complicated complexity, the only source of sanity is the Word of God. It has answers to every of life’s questions as it leads you to Life. Making choices become easier when you are anchored to Christ the source of all things.

I hope someone is blessed by this and gets righted. You can only have it all when you have Christ. That marriage that career that dream, that desire can only be satisfying in God. 

How time flies…

It seems just like yesterday. Recollect how many times you have spoken those words. That is if you take the time to just sit back to dredge up the past, look back to see how far you’ve come in life, taking note of where you were then compared to now, you say how time flies…

It seems just like yesterday.  How long ago was it that you were born. And now, here you are. When you remember your days in school or wherever and it seemed it would never end that you would remain a child forever and now you have children of your own, your family, and you get to look at their antics, try to compare it with what you did back then and you say, how time flies…

It seems just like yesterday. When your heart suddenly felt like exploding when you first sighted that boy/girl. When your feet refused to transport you and your tongue went missing. When your head hung in the clouds after the result came in YES. When it appeared both of you were doing toothpaste advert walking down the aisle after the I do… it’s now several years past, the children have flown the coop and his/her sight still gives you the thrills (you must be blessed). You are back where you started, just the two of you and looking into each other’s eyes your heart says, how time flies…

It seems just like yesterday. When you felt you were nothing and you had nothing. When you toiled and scratched and struggled to make ends meet. When you saved and traded gradually building the empire that is now a global entity. You take your deserved rest from it all and look back and say, how time flies…

It seems just like yesterday. Back then when you had to go from street to street, trying to locate a house that is blessed with that big box that had humans inside doing all sorts and then you wonder how they get to feed and why they were black and white. Here you are today, watching DSTV on you mobile phone and able to chat with anyone, anywhere and at anytime and while chatting, you stop to remember that just a few years back, this was unimaginable and you say, how time flies…

All the above, is assuming you made something of your yesterday and you have arrived at a desirable today. The truth remains, if you find yourself in pleasurable and desirable circumstances you wish it to continue and it always appears short lived but if it were a bad time, the seconds drag for eternity before making minutes and the minutes take their time to reach the hour mark. Time is in slow motion and yet you are still able to look back at it all and say, how time flies…

The saying is true, that what humanity has in common and in equal measures is time, that is, irrespective of the number of days you may spend here on earth; our unit allocation of time is equal daily – 24 hrs. You decide how you spend your time and what you spend your time on. I like that saying that goes yesterday is gone, but today is a gift that is why it is called present and might I add, tomorrow never comes and truly, time flies…